I love talking with my kids. I am not referring to surface level conversations. These surface talks are fun, but I love to go deep with my kids. It is truly an enlightening experience to pose the tough questions to them; questions that adults often refuse to entertain seem to find answers from our little ones. Their wisdom is truly amazing because they haven’t been jaded, just yet. They see every minute as an opportunity to live and have fun. Every second in front of them is a second where they can explore a new adventure or set off on a new journey. Their mind is progressing and maturing at a rapid pace. They are soaking it all in and forming opinions as they watch the adults in their life interact. Have you ever given much thought to that? You should. They are watching and listening to everything you do. This means we should take advantage of these times while they are eagerly seeking to learn and encourage them to think deeply about life and choices.
This past weekend, as I was loading up the kids after church, my son looked up at me and said, “Incredible Hulk is not a bad guy…him just sick.” This statement hit me hard. I could have brushed it off and moved on, but I enjoy giving thought to the things my kids say. It is here where I tend to learn a lot about their hearts and thoughts. This is an amazingly deep statement for a four year old. On the surface, you might say ‘of course the Hulk is not a bad guy’…he is a part of the Avengers, arguably the greatest hero squad to ever form. I don’t think Gavin was thinking about the Avengers when he made this bold statement. My son was thinking about the Hulk’s heart. My son was looking at the Hulk as a human, not a hero. My son was concerned about people thinking bad about another without first thinking about their heart and soul. My son is constantly trying to see the good in people. He does this with people we meet at restaurants and stores, and also with people or characters we see in movies and in books. His mission, though he may not be able to articulate it, is to find the good in everyone. He sees with loving, unjaded eyes.
I realize that some may read this and argue that I am looking too deep into a passing comment by a four year old. Maybe I am, but what if we can learn a great deal from our kids? What if their passing statements carry more thought and care than our deep-rooted jaded opinions? I am not lifting my child up as the answer to all of life’s questions. I am well aware that this comment came from a child that cannot yet wipe his own bottom, and still throws a fit when he is asked to put clothes on. I am not going to put him on a pedestal, but I am going to continue to encourage deep thought and I am going to admit that, at times, I can learn from him.
How would your life be different if you tried to find the good in people? How would your relationships look if you, first, focused on the good in a person? This is difficult because we want to focus on the bad in those that have harmed us. We, many times, argue that we don’t like negativity, but yet we find ourselves focusing only on the negative surrounding us and others, which makes us the source for negativity in our life.
People will wrong you, hurt you, and lie to you. Your friends, your neighbors, and strangers will fail you. This, however, does not mean we should focus on that. Start looking for the good in people. Start being the positive influence in your home, your neighborhood, your church, and your workplace. Stop simply saying you hate negativity or negative people and start being the positive in your circles.
My son made a simple statement this past weekend that stopped me in my tracks; a statement that will change the way I interact with people. I know that if I am not careful, the root of bitterness and hate will take hold of my heart as I live my life. It is easy for me to see the worst in people. It is easy for me to say hateful things wrapped up in “Christianese” and feel good about myself. This is not the answer. We are to be a light in a very dark world. See the best in people and love someone today, for we know that they may not be bad guys…they may just be sick.
posted by Andrew Wood, Executive Director of Hope Resource Center
